save you the trip

Here is the picture that is hanging in the Springville museum's Spring Salon. It took 4 tries, but I finally got something accepted to this show. I think the real art judges were on strike and they had some hacks come in. Whatever, it worked. This way, you can see my photo and say, "what the hell was KJ thinking?" without all the hassle of cross-country travel.

KJ

Bishops jokebook

Touché brother o' mine. I applaud your Knock Knock jokes. We both know you Googled them. WEAK!! I wasn't aware that the bishop's handbook comes with a section in the back entitled, "in case of weak jokes, break glass." I'm sure most bishops don't have to "break the glass" so soon into their tenure, but Todd and I will whip up some new Knock Knock jokes for you.

You'll also be hearing from my attorney who will be representing me during my follicular discrimination suit against you. People with body hair have feelings too you know. You don't see me slinging mud about your extra large kidneys or fear of peanuts. And for your info, while I'm wandering West Valley naked, as I often do, people actually come up and ask where they can buy a cashmere jogging suit just like mine. Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.


KJ

open mic

So did Scott get to toss in any improv from his Joke Book during the wedding ceremony? I'd kill to do a wedding! Is there a place besides church or Vegas where I can sign up for that gig? I want audio of my brother joining two people in holy matrimony. It may be worth something one day when he's doing hard time.

I also noticed the lovely sign the boys made for grandpa. Is that the photo taken right before they burst through the banner nude? If so, I'm not posting my picture. They stole my thunder. Seriously, are those boys ever NOT naked? I bet they ended up on a naked hike and a naked egg hunt etc. If that's the case, I'm SOOOO jealous! I've been trying to get away with that for years, but law enforcement feels it is detrimental to society as a whole. That's just rude, even if it is true.

One last question, Scott, do you do out of town weddings? Would you carpool with my "significant other" and me to Mass to perform our commitment ceremony? It'll look good on your resume.

KJ

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GRANDPA!!

WE LOVE YOU!!

I now pronounce you...

Bishop Johnson performed his first wedding yesterday on a Pittsburgh River boat. Here he is in action! He did a great job and was flooded with compliments after the ceremony.

"Ity" words of wisdom...that was one of his themes.
Pur-ity, Etern-ity, Char-ity, Poster-ity, Un-ity

Oops! Maybe Scott should wait until the bride arrives...we'll try again in a minute. He said he started the ceremony before he was supposed to, but I don't think anyone noticed, except the bride who wasn't there, yet :) It really wasn't noticeable because it sounded more like an intro before the music and processional started.

This is the only time Scott stops working these days...when he falls asleep while working. He needs a vacation!

Felix and Rex feeding the ducks

Felix scaling the rock wall. Rex didn't want in on the action.

Elsa, Rex and Felix holding hands before our hike.

The best Easter picture I was able to get...Monkeys!

Scenic Pocatello

Bubba and I returned home from Pocatello and the Portneuf Spring Soccer Tournament this weekend. Her team, Impact, went to the championship game because of their victory in Sunday's earlier match where Bubba scored 4, yes 4, goals. After the 3rd (hat trick) goal, I tossed my hat onto the field. After the 4th goal I tossed my shoe on the field. After that, I was asked to keep my articles of clothing to myself. Pansies. Anyway, Bubba and Impact went on to finish 2nd. You can only imagine how excited my extremely competitve daughter was to finish 2nd. NOT! As the saying goes, "if you're not first, you might as well be last." I should be a motivational speaker.

Here are a few pix from the game. Needless to say, despite Impact losing the championship game, their opponents definitely needed the most ice packs and ace bandages the next day.

One last thing. Is it just me, or is it a bit odd that a state known for its potatoes, has so many French names for their towns. Coincidence? I think not.

KJ

I DID IT!

Go to

www.dalemart.blogspot.com

for the whole story!

SIx more days...

Family, friends, strangers - I am asking/begging/pleading anyone who reads this to consider cheering me on as I crawl(hopefully) across the finish line or at any other point along the 26.2 mile course. I am hoping to average a ten minute mile, so you can base your time and location on that. Since Keith will be out of town, I need someone to take a picture so I have hard evidence that I actually did this! Todd is going to jump in and run the last six miles with me. The longest run I have to date is 21 miles, so the last five will be somewhat of a mystery - hopefully adrenaline and Todd's encouragement will get me through!

Sale Lake City Marathon

Easter

I tried creating a photo album so you wouldn't have to scroll through all the pictures, but I gave gave up after 30 minutes and still no album.

Egg Dying

So Pretty! Decorating Cookies...

We were just laughing at the fact that Valerie and Charlotte look nothing alike.

Riley's Cookies

Macie diving into the frosting.

Macie looking suspicious after the egg hunt.

Riley and Macie showing off their loot.

The girls in their Easter Dresses before church.

We tried...

One last item

I'm sure you're all checking the DNews website daily, so you've already seen it, but I shot two videos Saturday during Conference. Yes, videos. It's the new thing. The paper's big push is the Web, so we're trying our hand at video. No word on how popular it is. You'll have to go to the "multimedia" tab under the Deseret News masthead on the homepage. You'll find our videos and slideshows under there. If my video looks gray and low resolution, wait until later today or tomorrow to look at it. There's a glitch in our system and it's making the video look horrific! Just thought I'd have you guys all take a look at it. It'd double the number of people who've seen it so far.

KJ

answers to questions

Valerie and dad asked a couple of questions about where I put the camera to shoot down on the rim at the JAZZ game. Yes, the camera is fired with a remote control that is connected to the camera I'm holding down on the court. I go up into the rafters and get my memory card at half-time and after the game when I take the camera down. Valerie, when you were in high school, I would not have been able to set up the remote camera, mostly because of a restraining order. I wasn't allowed within 500ft. of schools or synagogues. I didn't know you could lift prints off of a yarmulke. Jimmy, Yes, the wide angle photo is from where I hung the camera. Fortunately there was no man with a rifle in the rafters at the JAZZ game. If there had been, I doubt he would have been there for security purposes. I was SUPER nervous hanging the camera, because it dangles about 75ft. over the court, and the lens weighs about 20lbs. I don't think a half=time show consisting of a decapitated JAZZ player would be very popular. The lens has about 3 safety cables on it and a set of clamps that secure it to the railing, but with my luck the JAZZ will have a place on the roster suddenly open up if I do it again. Keep your shoes laced up Georgie, this could be your break! One man's decapitation is another man's fortune. Isn't that how the old saying goes?

flashback

I swear that the pictures margie posted of my nephews in their briefs and flying naked through the air, are just pirated photos of Scott and me from Mom and Dad's photo album. (Photos of Scott and me when we were children, that is.) However, someone needs to step in and teach those young boys some fashion sense. They need to accessorize their outfits with a pair of cowboy boots. Then they'd look like REAL superheroes...sporting full frontal nudity. Child protective services has been notified. We go WAAAAAAY back.

KJ

P.S. Happy belated Margie. I sent you a care package with a few knick knacks. I sent some BenGay, bunion pads, a box of "moisture management" undergarments, a.k.a. big girl diapers (I think they have American Idol-themed ones. Simon's face turns red with anger when you've had an accident) and a couple of tennis balls for the feet on your walker so you don't scuff the floors while shuffling around the house chasing naked grandsons. Oh, those are your sons. Sorry.

New Post from Us to You...

Is he cute, or is he cute?! Not sure what the black specks on his lip are...dirt, Oreos, poo? It's very rare to see Rex with a clean face, but boy can he pull off dirty or what?!

The beginnings of yet another bad hair cut, courtesy of Mom. It only got worse from there. I'll share a photo when it has sufficiently grown out! I'm sorry Felix! I'm just trying to save a dime. Maybe I should be more concerned with saving him from the hair bullies.

Seriously! I know it's April, but rain? And cold? We're sick, sick, sick of it!! Scott will get irritated if I continue on with the complaints, so I'll stop...but, did I mention we're SICK OF IT?!!

If child services walked into a room and saw about 90% of the things I see daily (see above),
Felix and Rex would have a new mommy.

Rex in his "Super-hero costume" leaping from tall buildings. Hi child services, it's me again!
Warning: Be prepared for full frontal nudity in the next shot. Cute girl cousins may need to advert their eyes.

I had to throw this shot in because this is what I initially walked in the room to see...before I insisted the super hero put on his drawers.

Felix and Elsa feeling some electricity! We finally got a trampoline, despite Scott's incessant disapproval...I settled on a conservative 8 footer courtesy of Craigslist which Scott came home to see unawares. I know he's jealous because he exceeds the weight limit and can't jump. (Sorry I keep picking on you, Scotty) I want a 14 footer! Trampolines make me feel young and after just celebrating another birthday, I could use a little young.

The glassy-eyed look of winter and the TV (Sick of it!!)

What a child looks like after finishing off the Strawberry jam

Super-Rex and Super-Felix

This picture signifies a diaper-free house!!!!!!! Rex is potty trained and proudly lets everyone know it when he freely drops his drawers anywhere outdoors to urinate. Unfortunately he thought he could do the same thing with poo-poo which has made for some nasty cleanups, in our yard, at the park and most recently...Burger King.

Hope everyone is doing well. It was nice talking to many of you recently. We miss you!